When most people come to a dead end, with a cross road, and are faced with the choice of turning left or right, they make a choice. Even if they hesitate momentarily, they can clearly see that standing still and going straight are not options. They might evaluate, try to see (or even guess!) whether turning left or right is the better choice. But eventually turn they will. Coming to this cross road might make them uncomfortable. For some? Being faced with that choice? Might be down right terrifying! And it might temporarily make them immobile. But eventually, if they truly want to reach their destination, they will turn! One way or the other!
That in and of itself seems like a predicament. How to help people know which way to turn? But I see an issue of even greater concern! When a person is at a cross roads and they have not realized it yet! I have seen many ladies in business standing at a very specific cross road. And over, and over again they are frustrated and not moving! Why? Because they have no idea that they can't go both ways! They absolutely have not recognized that the choices they are making are the very reason they are not moving in any direction at all!
I call it the crossroad of "Pity and Progress". And you truly must make a choice between the two. If you choose pity (let's say that's turning left) you can not have progress! (turning right!) If you choose progress (for this example turning right) you will not be going to left (that road called pity!).
But the main problem is that I frequently see women not only seeking pity for themselves and the situation they are in, but not recognizing that by choosing to seek pity (turn down that road) they are ruining their own chances of making progress! By it's very nature pity; a "woe is me", "my situation is horrible", "but you don't understand what I'm going through" attitude is headed in the opposite direction to progress towards success! Pity, or feeling sorry about a situation, not only doesn't change the situation, but it keeps you focused on the negative. Focused on bad feelings, bad outcomes and sometimes bad people! And while your mind and your attitude and the words coming out of your mouth are focused on those things? You can expect that you won't be getting very far in your quest for progress. Negative breeds negative. What you think about? What you spend your time talking about? Dreaming about? Sharing with others? Really does make a difference in your daily progress! Please don't misunderstand me! As the popular saying goes, "Bad things happen to good people"! Horrible circumstances come. Life sometimes hits very hard!
I know. I've been there.
And if you are there? I am truly sorry for your situation. But I also have been at this crossroads you might be standing on. And I've seen numerous other ladies at this same decision making location. And over and over I've seen that if you make the choice to focus on your circumstances and seek pity from others? Not only that, but let's go as far as to say seek pity-or allow pity-from yourself? You need to recognize you've just chosen to turn left.
You have chosen to turn down the road called "Pity" and on that road you can not be moving forward towards "Progress".
The great news is? You can turn around!!! Today! Right now!!! You can say to your self, "No More!!" You can recognize that though your circumstances, the hand in life you've been dealt, is less than desirable (for some people that is to say the very least), you refuse! Yes! Absolutely refuse to allow your circumstances to hold you back from making progress towards reaching your goals! Might circumstances slow you down? Sure! But stop you!? Turn you in the opposite direction?! No way! Don't allow that by continuing to allow pity from yourself and seek it from others!
Turn right! On the road called progress! Stop complaining about everything that is going wrong and everything you think you can't do right. It's not helping you! People saying "Oh I'm so sorry" does not get you any closer! Whining about how something you have tried didn't work for you does not mean next time it will! Instead? Focus on what you CAN do and what you CAN change! Even if you are taking baby steps for now, or trying to navigate through unfamiliar territory. Moving slowly is fine! As long as you are headed in the right direction!
Every day you can get out of bed and ask yourself. "Hmmm, which direction do I want to go today?" You truly can't have it both ways. You can't have pity and progress. Today? I'm choosing PROGRESS! How about you?